Life is a beautiful and enigmatic journey we're called to embark on without being questioned as to if we wanted to exist or not!? might I add that this is just a rhetoric don't get too concerned as you try to answer the question. I'm not in any way depressed nor suicidal. Maybe just a little melancholic.
For privacy I am going to fictionalize most of what I want to share as I don't want anyone getting hurt. I am a Barbie collector of over 200 hundred dolls. I have made it a habit to collect dolls from around the world and I purchase dolls from every city I travel too. Black, white, Hispanic, African, French I have them all and for the purpose of my blogs I am going to use my dolls whom I have managed to group into families who live in a fictional city I created called "Barbidom" did I also mention that I own Ken dolls from different nationalities and generations. Now what would Barbidom be without the guys.
Barbidom is a far from perfect doll neighborhood it's socio-economic dermography actually reflects the real world the only difference is that the inhabitants of Barbidom are immortal and remain plastic fantastic forever (no need for Botox or cosmetic surgery), that is if there are no fires or natural disaster that befall my home. "I knock wood".
I am particularly drawn to this African family of 8 women. A widowed mother and her beautiful 7 daughters. From a distance you could feel the desperation the mother is feeling as she sits out on her front porch day in day out worried that life has indeed failed her. The question is why does she feel that way? could it be that she finally regrets all her poor choices or is she oblivious to her own responsibility in making her life so unbearable. Once upon a time she was from an extremely wealthy family, notorious for thier success and wealth in their country of origin. Her mother a strong Matriarch was a self made woman who Married an oil merchant. "Anna" this matriarch was the first daughter of five girls born to a mixed slave of a foreign missionary.
It is interesting to note that Anna's Father's European origins are not known, but in that time he should not have survived, based on the fact that he was mixed. For during Slavery the odds of an African woman/ slave romancing a white man was null. Hence if an African woman bore a mixed child the community concluded that she was violated and this brought a stigma not only to the unborn child and mother but also to the village she was from. In most cases the mother would be killed either by the white man or buy the slave hunter. If she was spared, her family would hide away from civilization by sending her into the bush.
So it is safe to say that Anna's Father was a miracle! that he survived all that hate and eventually had favor with missionaries who not only employed him but took care of little Anna when she was born. Anna recalled her father spoke like a "white man" he could read and write and these missionaries also taught her to read and write and educated her to become a refined little indigene. Anna later had four siblings who where born looking more white than black though they did not suffer any social stigma's Anna knew her family was somewhat special and very different from the rest of their community.
Anna rose from being a local young lady to becoming a business mogul. Together with her husband they had five children, 3 boys and two girls. Anna was so wealthy, she did'nt only send her children to the best schools in England and the US but also paid for everyone of her Sisters children's education too. It was a priviledge for her nieces and nephew to reside with her prior to there adult independence. It was a sort of baptism or confirmation once you passed through her residence. Anna's first daughter and second born was the apple of Anna's eyes. She could do no wrong! Anna adored her, and she Camille worshipped her mother. Never has one seen such a strong cord between two humans. So it was natural that when Camille was of age to marry, Anna had difficulties accepting suitors for Camile. She mostly looked down on each one. As a result Anna did'nt have a lot of in-laws that liked her. It was rumored that even her husbands family did'nt like her, they feared her! Anna acknowledged this hatred, proof that she Anna was a woman with strong hide. Camille on the other hand was a very pretty young lady who did everything to keep her mothers good grace. However it was a horrible day when Camille fell pregnant for a certain man she was seeing, it is not clear if they where ever married, but they must have been in some kind of a relationship because she fell pregnant twice baring this man two lovely girls, Amy and Crystal in London. It is obvious that the girls father was not in Anna's good books as Amy and Crystal where immediately taken away from him, Camille and her kids went back home to live with Anna untill sometime in the future when a handsome young man Paul, close friend to Simon, Camille's younger brother, approached the family seeking Camille's hand in marriage. Maybe Simon's approval of the young man was what gave him the much needed leverage to approach Anna. Paul was from a modest background, he was not wealthy but he was a an ambitious and highly intelligent man who was awarded a scholarship from Lutheran High school to study at the prestigious Oxfords University in England. He graduated to become an accountant and had managed to get a decent job with a good salary. He was also madly in love with Camille despite her children born out of wedlock, maybe it was because he also had a child out of wedlock, her name was Priscilla. He was extremely lucky to have been accepted by Anna as suitable for Camille who was born with a silver spoon.
They celebrated the union as only high profiled public figures would. Alas Camille moved from prestige to a low profiled neigborhood where she was happy to have a home. Soon she he got her little home up and running with 3 daughters a house help and a husband. Camille set up a toy business and started numerous trips abroad often taking her kids with her. Things where not always perfect and it appeared that after Paul and Camille had their first child together, things started taking a strange turn.
Marble looked just like her father. Paul named her after his late mother, his last sister also shared the same name. Paul dotted affectionately on all his children but with Marble he was ready to give her the world, Marble was everything he had expected. Except! ..... she was not a boy. Marble grew up to understand her father's disappointment that she was not a male child. It was so obvious that both Paul and Camille where desperate for a male child as the babies kept coming. After Marble came Emily, then Casey. Finally Camille broke down, baby Clara was her last. Marble enjoyed her life in her age of innocence she was a tremendously gifted child who enjoyed playing with her sisters as well as sitting quietly to her self dreaming non -stop on all she could do. That glass bubble was soon shattered when she reached the age of understanding human suffering and pain. The happy family she once enjoyed started to show signs of fatigue. the perfect family portrait started to shred in different places.
First it was the late night arguments, from the other room Paul and Camille shared, then the heavy sobs, yells and screams, the violent fights, sometimes Marble and her sisters where locked in, in the room all 6 shared, while their parents tore up the whole house beating each other to pulp. The reason they where locked in was so they would not come out to beg Paul and Camille to stop fighting. Sometimes the fighting lasted the whole night, even on school nights, often when Marble and her sisters got ready for school the next day they could not help but notice the smell of blood mixed with antiseptic, or even spot large blood stained band aids and clothing randomly tucked away in the bathroom. Camille would sit in a corner looking swollen with marks everywhere, the children would throw a fearful "goodbye mum" to Camille scurrying away with Paul as he barked at them to get in the car. Marble often wanted to run to her mum to hug her dearly but she was afraid she would physically hurt her even more as she was in such bad shape from the beatings. Marble could not find the courage to look at her father, let alone ask him why he was beating their mother up. She could only steal a glimpse of this man's face from the rear mirror in the car, trying to understand what was going on in his minds. Sadly all she could see was her mother's hurt reflecting in his eyes, he was also hurt and maybe regretted his actions. Marble would never know till she grew older.
Camille never spoke about the fights with Paul to her children, it became so rampant every other night was the usual scenario, there was an endless list of things that would start a fight, a cold meal, the wrong tone of voice, a missing document, a door slam, each day became a living hell and each night was a nightmare. Things got worse as the girls grew older, both parents turned on them. Marble and her siblings stared getting beat up by either parents. There was a strange dynamic with the beatings , Paul would rather turn Priscilla and Marble into punching bags but he would not touch Amy and Crystal and the younger ones. Camille would also turn Priscilla into a punching bag and then become sadistic toward Amy but would not touch anyone else. As the girls grew older the beatings spread out equally,it got worse and it started to affect school work. For Marble this is where things got ugly as she became introverted and did not dare use any of her talents anymore, she began to resent herself, with help from Paul who made her feel more and more worthless. Paul could'nt accept that any of his children especially marble would be less than excellent in school, he also was not ready to accept that their dysfunctional home was contributing to Marble's problems. He often upped the ante till Marble reached breaking point and there was no where else to go then he would rain fire and brimstone on her for failing. The final push came once Marble discovered her father's resentment for all his female children when baby Clara was born. Before Camille was due, the whole family especially Marble prayed for Paul's sake that this baby would be a boy! Marble prayed more for Camille's sake and the baby's sake that it would be a boy. She could not imagine what would befall her mother and unborn sibling if it happened otherwise. Sadly her worst fears came to life. Paul came home from the hospital without any sign of excitement on his face, he was so inhumanly stoic, Marbles blood curdled as she listened to her father blot out the words "Mummy gave birth,....it's a girl" at that moment Marble stood far away, afraid Paul my jump on her, using her as a punching bag to let off steam. He was'nt angry he was dissappointed and you could see he was really brooding. They later left to the hospital and the drive felt like the never ending trip to hell. Marble did'nt want to see her mother's face. Her heart would break to see her mother cry. It's amazing how what should have been such a wonderful day could carry such a dark cloud, just because of her parents expectations. Marble's face lit up when she kissed her mother and she smiled back, then she showed them all to Baby Clara! She was beautiful! the most beautiful baby ever. She was white! so white her lips where dark purple! Marble fell in love with the baby and was distraught that Paul could'nt appreciate this bundle of joy, simply because it was not a male child.
THE DRAMA HAD ONLY JUST BEGUN!!!!!!!! Stay tuned for the next bloggersode!
